she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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