was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
