I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
