if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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