Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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