I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
