i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
