so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
