yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have fence marks all over my body
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
