I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
