Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
