Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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