Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
