Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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