Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
