Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
