Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's shark week go big or go home
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
