Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
