His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
