I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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