the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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