My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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