a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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