Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
