..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
