We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
