My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Who died my cat blue again?
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