just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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