the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
