Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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