Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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