I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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