Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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