did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
