I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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