dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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