Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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