I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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