Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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