so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
