They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
