ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
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I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
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I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize