Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
