you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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