Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There's always time for handjobs
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
