the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
