Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
