if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
