pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
