Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
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