Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
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I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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