Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have post one night stand depression
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