Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
