She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
