we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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