we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
