shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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